…writing about Second Life.
I’m not sure what it is, maybe three years of not going in-world on any regular basis and now it’s all just spilling out of me. Not many things can inspire this in me. A few video games here and there, but rarely do I find myself writing about anything on a daily basis, as I have since I returned to SL earlier this week. I’m ok with it, though. I’m always looking for ways to become a better writer and the best way to do it is to write a lot.
Yesterday, I wore my new outfit all day (see my previous post) and got several compliments on it. I love hearing it…I mean what woman doesn’t love being told she looks great? At the same time, though, a little voice in the back of my head scolds me that I’m being shallow and materialistic. Y’know what, though? I don’t fucking care. I’ll save the altruism and activism for the real world, where it belongs and where it matters. In SL, I get to indulge myself. I can allow myself to be self-centered and shallow, at least a little, because a big part of the draw for me with SL is that I can explore parts of myself that I’m not comfortable giving voice to in the real world.
Still, I can never allow myself to forget that there are real people behind those avatars, that just because I allow myself certain kinds of freedom in SL that I wouldn’t in real life doesn’t mean that I’m free to treat people like crap (unless, of course, they want me to). I’ve seen dommes go overboard, apparently believing that because they’re in SL they’re free to act any way they want, whenever they want, with no regard for the consequences. Those are usually the dommes, I’ve found, who end up with not only little if any loyalty from the subs they interact with, but also often shunned by their fellow dommes socially. There’s a fine line between use and abuse, and these are just two of the colors in the palette of a dominant. As in the case of a visual artist, relying on just one or two “colors” too much can render that domme’s work boring and repetitive.
I’ve found that generally speaking subs aren’t just looking to be submissive, they’re also looking to their dominant for leadership and guidance. Yes, they want to be told what to do and they want have their submissive status reinforced by their domme through abuse and degradation, but that’s not all most of them are looking for. It’s learning to mix these factors into subtle and complex shades that makes the domme-sub relationship one that not only works for the dominant but also for the sub as well, and keeps them coming back for more. A good domme is one who knows and understands her sub and what he wants and needs from her in their relationship, not just what she wants from it. In my experience, that’s the foundation of a strong D/s relationship, one that can last longer than just a few encounters.
In SL, where relationships can come and go like the wind, the D/s pairings that last are the ones are the ones that have more than just beatings and verbal abuse tying the two partners together. There’s real positive emotion and true support there, and both submission and dominance are acts of love, or at least genuine caring, toward one another.
Now that I’m trying to see if I can be a professional domme in SL, remembering these things will serve me and those who choose to submit to me in good stead. Those who fail to remember these things will fail at being a successful dominant, and I don’t intend to fail.
Alright, that’s enough for now. More soon.